It's sad, but true, many people that I meet have some negative thoughts about their bodies. Many people feel inadequate in their own skin and often have strong beliefs that their bodies have major faults. Our society's beauty standards are often based on manufactured notions: airbrushed bodies, digitally enhanced bodies, perfect bodies. Realistically many of us cannot have certain desired features without major surgery. So what can you do about having a negative body image?
Mental Exercises to Help Reduce Negative Body Image
The first step in solving any negative issue is to gain awareness. What parts of your body do you feel negative about?
- Do you feel that you are not thin enough?
- Do you think your body is disgusting?
- Do you wish you could change a feature?
Discovering of the Inner Critique (The mean girl or boy in our heads)
Take a moment and think about if there is a dialogue in your head about certain body features?
Many of us have a inner critic, that little voice in your head that says terrible things like " you look so fat today, no one wants to date you," and a variety of other horrible things. Most of us have had this inner critic living with us for some time and quieting this voice is hard to do.
From a neuroscience perspective, we are fighting old neural pathways in the brain and we are fighting things we actually believe about ourselves, though they may not appear true to other people. We need to override these old pathways by creating new pathways.
One of the best ways I have found to describe this inner critic is to see this voice as a mean girl in your head. Do you like hanging out with mean girls? Mean girls put down other other people, manipulate other people and in general bully other people. This mean girl is living rent free in your head. Do you want her there?
Step One
What is this mean girl saying. Write these phrases down
Examples "You are so ugly make up can't fix it," "Your body is weak, you should be ashamed," "You shouldn't have eaten that, you are so fat already."
Once you write the thoughts down, often we realize how mean these thoughts are. Now that you have the list, ask yourself, would you say these things to your best friend? What if you heard your best friend says these things about herself or himself? What would you tell your best friend about his or her body?
Step Two
Check in with your supporters and people who love you. The harsh things you are saying to yourself, are they the truth? Run them by your friends and you will likely discover the outrageousness of your inner critic.
Step Three
Positive affirmations do work, we have tons of research. Over time with repetition the brain and body begin to believe the positive thoughts. I know it can sound cheesy, but we can actually change the nueral pathways in the brain to stop believing negative things about ourselves.
Start by taking your list of negative thoughts and write down a positive thought that counteracts the negative.
Example:
Negative - "I am so fat." Positive - "I love my body as it is."
Negative - " I am not strong." Positive - "My body is capable."
A key element of affirmations is that you need believe the positive statement. Find the positive statement that resonates with you.
Step Four
Write these positive affirmations down on a post-it and take them with you. Post them in your bathroom, kitchen, car and keep repeating the positive phrases. Say the positive phrases out loud, try for 100 times a day if you can. You have now started the process of shutting down the inner critic. The process takes work and time, but eventually the brain will get rewired and you may find yourself feeling less negative about your body.